PBnJ

A surprising happiness to you!

2009-03-22T12:03:00.003-04:00

There is a new fun virus or worm or email hack, whatever you want to call it.In my Gmail account I received a message from my Yahoo email address. Here are the message contents.*****Dear friend:I would like to introduce you a corporation which mainly sell electronic products.Now the company is doing sales promotion,and all the products are sold nearly at its cost price.What's more,they provide

Love is Blind...

2009-01-22T02:43:00.003-05:00

...and just a little creepy.

2009-01-22T02:25:00.002-05:00

The woman stood in her backyard. She was holding a garden hose as the sun splashed soft light on her through the leaves of the large tree in the center of the yard. The water was not turned on all the way so instead of an angry hurried rush it came out in large soft droplets that sank wetly into the ground. The dirt was gray, it had been a dry summer and the yard had been neglected. She was

Things that still scare me

2009-01-22T00:03:00.001-05:00

*for some reason I always imagine the worst. Perhaps if I think up everything that could happen I will be able to prevent it if it really does. Maybe the boyscouts were right in always being prepared. My shrink said "what is the worst that could possibly happen," well this was. And I was ready. * All I could see were those absurd neon green glitter balls she insisted on using on her ponytail. I

Live Action Super Mario Bros

2009-01-15T19:33:00.002-05:00

Is that an Obama reference I see? Watch closely.The part where Mario grows is full of win.

Bells and Bells and Bells and Bells

2009-01-13T01:10:00.000-05:00

Are you in India?

2008-04-11T00:39:00.002-04:00

It's amazing how many people think that I am from India just because they contacted a call center. At least once a month someone tells me that "At least you can speak English." First of all, isn't it weird that they even feel free to say such a thing? Isn't that rude? I provide tech support for the hamsters my company sells so I do get a lot of interesting calls. Weird comment of the day: "I

Exciting and Special

2008-01-15T22:22:00.000-05:00

Tonight I found our I was laid off from my webjob. It was my dream job, I got paid to basically surf the web. Before they laid us off they sent an email to invite us to a conference call to hear some exciting and special news. Um, not so much. The exciting part was even though they don't want to pay us anymore they are willing to let us work as salespeople. For commision. Sigh. I guess it's back

I really wanted to be Micky

2007-11-05T11:18:00.000-05:00

Take the Hey Hey, Which Monkee Are You? Quiz.

You're thinking I'm paranoid now, aren't you?

2007-11-03T22:35:00.000-04:00

Just because I don't want to be around you when you are plotting against me (because I am so great of course) doesn't mean I don't care. RatingParanoid Personality Disorder:HighSchizoid Personality Disorder:ModerateSchizotypal Personality Disorder:HighAntisocial Personality Disorder:LowBorderline Personality Disorder:ModerateHistrionic Personality Disorder:ModerateNarcissistic Personality

See Snapgrrl blog. Blog Snapgrrl, blog.

2007-11-03T19:43:00.000-04:00

I guess it's better than being at Jessica Simpsons reading level.<

Unicycle Goddess

2007-10-23T18:57:00.000-04:00

Geeze, what a loser. She fell off that tricycle twice. I could do that in my sleep. Well in my dreams anyway.

Tada!

2007-10-23T13:23:00.000-04:00

I love Julian Beevers art. I don't understand how it works though. I know it's unrecognizable from a different point of view. I'll just call it magic. That's the same thing I tell my husband every night and he believes it.

The Longest Roller Coaster in the World

2007-10-22T19:20:00.001-04:00

I hate the long ride up on most roller coasters. The pause at the top of the hill is torture. Here is one coaster I will never ride. The best thing is at the very end the annoying chick says "Hey everyone, everyone I passed out." Too bad she didn't stay that way. You can tell that is what they are thinking by the looks on their faces.

M - I - C - K - E - Y MOUSE!

2007-10-22T18:06:00.000-04:00

It's no secret that I love Disney World. Not ever liking Micky Mouse when I was growing up I am surprised at how desperately I wanted to go. My husband didn't think seeing THE MOUSE was a good idea for our honeymoon so we ended up in the Poconos, in a champagne glass jacuzzi, heart shaped pool in our room and a bad gallbladder attack. Me of course. But the steak was worth it. Playing pool for 7

It's almost Project Runway time!

2007-10-22T18:00:00.000-04:00

Project Runway is almost here. This show is cattier than America's Next Top Model, more creative than Top Chef and crazier than I love New York (not that I watch that.)For the lineup and more info ...http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/401007/secrets_of_project_runway_season_four.html

Gee I couldn't see this one coming...

2006-03-25T22:01:00.000-05:00

Which Office Moron Are You?Rum and Monkey: jamming your photocopier one tray at a time.

Crotch squinting, new Olympic sport?

2006-03-03T18:50:00.000-05:00

How upset do you think this basketball player is really going to be when he is remembered for this picture? Embarrassing? Yes. Flattering? Oh yeah!Dudes gonna carry a copy in his wallet for years.(Time warp to 2056, pickup bar, middle aged ex-basketball player talking to 20 year old potential future ex-wife.)Player: "Yeah they tried to pass it off as an optical illusion, but I'm telling you

Some things are art, some things are just...not

2006-02-28T19:23:00.000-05:00

Cleaning out your closet is not art.Putting things you find in your closet on your head is not art.Seriously, ask my mother. When my brother was 8 he put our Mom's bra on his head and ran around the house shouting "I am the Fly, help me, help me!" She did not praise him and notify the Smithsonian, no instead she gave him the smack down and he still isn't right. Not that he was to begin with.

Huh?

2006-02-19T15:05:00.000-05:00

It took me way too long to figure out what exactly the groom was holding in this picture. Then it took me just as long to decide who it belonged to. Good idea. Have the bridesmaids, who are all skinnier than you, even though you only ate Slimfast and Gummi Bears for two weeks before the wedding, slither and rub their bodies all over your new husband.Want to bet which one bags him first?

Click me Baby one billion times

2006-02-13T01:27:00.000-05:00

http://www.onebillionpageviews.com/One Billion Page ViewsMy name is AJ, I'm 26 years old, I have been making sites since the age of 17, I don't have a degree, not a a-level, not even a gcse, everything I know is self taught, I believe that the internet is the greatest invention of the millennium, the door is wide open for me...

Shades of Gilliam?

2006-02-13T01:06:00.000-05:00

Reminds me of Monty Python. That's not entirely a bad thing.The spider page is my very favorite.Book of Numbers

This is my rifle this is my gun; this one's for fighting, this one's for fun.

2006-02-09T21:52:00.000-05:00

O.K. so maybe it's just me. I know this is a highly respected and traditional dress uniform. I don't have a problem with that. I have a problem with the way the photographer posed the Mickey Mouse hands.He seems to be pointing towards his, ahem, gun.It all seems like some kind of subliminal message, placed for me to unknowingly find the military sexy and want to respect and support war.

What Superhero are you?

2006-02-09T00:11:00.000-05:00

Your results:You are BatmanBatman 75%Robin 62%Spider-Man 55%Hulk 55%Catwoman 50%Wonder Woman 40%Superman 40%Supergirl 40%Iron Man 40%The Flash 20%Green Lantern 15%You are dark, love gadgetsand have vowed to help the innocentnot suffer the pain you have endured.Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

2006-02-08T18:13:00.000-05:00

Manifesto: The TIME to OBEY is NOW! For too long we Pandas have been content to cavort for your pleasure. Eating bamboo, rolling in the mud, flashing our big cute eyes at you. No more. Panda Power is here. Kneel before the Stick. LAND! PEACE! BAMBOO! Only your total and complete subservience is required...http://

Background people.

2006-01-15T20:52:00.000-05:00

Cute little girl. Too bad all anyone is going to remember is ASS. And tell me you didn't try to look up the other woman's skirt. Pervert.http://www.msimaging.net/photo.html

What a mess

2006-01-14T08:42:00.000-05:00

One of my biggest pet peeves is a cluttered background. In some situations the photographer doesn't have a choice, but with posed photographs you are in control.How hard would it have been for the photographer to have the ring held over a table? What about blurring the background while focusing on the ring? For goodness sake, we live in the age of b3ta and Worth 1000, Photoshop the damn thing!

Photo adjustment 101

2006-01-14T01:57:00.000-05:00

O.K. You've taken a decent picture but the exposure is all wrong. No problem, that's why God invented Photoshop. Just a few quick adjustments and ...perfect! Changing it to black and white really fixed the brightness problem!Although you can't put the whole blame on the photographer. It must have been hell trying to get a balance between the white dress and the bride's fake bake.http://

2006-01-14T01:31:00.000-05:00

I don't know what to think about this photograph.1. The photographer didn't know it would look this way.2. The photographer is making a statement about women and their complicated relationship with their body image.3. Or he is just an idiot who likes to make fun of fat chicks.Same photographer, different victims. I guess this onewouldn't be so bad if they didn't look like they were a

2006-01-14T00:51:00.000-05:00

Now I can always remember that my wedding was held in the high school gym. The hundreds of dollars I spent on decorations to try to hide the fact that my father spent all his money on whores and poker and couldn't afford a nice hall for his only daughter's wedding will be forgotten.Unlike the tacky purple shoes my stepmother kicked off after her eighth mimosa when she started dirty dancing with

Goodbye Cruel Wedding

2006-01-14T00:37:00.000-05:00

Married life is so happy! My husband works hard at the bodybuilding gym till all hours, his mother is living with us. Poor dear, she's come over from England, she keeps forgetting my name is Brenda. She calls me her little Minge, I guess that must be someone she used to feel very close too. Do all English men wear tights under their trousers? My husband says the climate he is used to makes his

The Pits

2006-01-13T23:56:00.000-05:00

Sometimes you have a really talented photographer who doesn't think about what the picture will look like if a crucial element is left out. Like what the bride is doing for example. Is she checking to see if her Secret is working?http://www.parkerphotographic.com/

Sitting on a Park Bench

2006-01-13T23:50:00.000-05:00

I don't know if the photographer's camera wasn't in focus or if they were going for a special digital effect. By special effect I mean in a sitting on a bench across the park with a telephoto lens sticking out of your raincoat secretly taking pictures of sweet pink things, oh so sweet and innocent, do you want some candy little girl, kind of way.http://www.ishootkids.com/index.htm

Senior pictures gone wrong. Way way wrong.

2006-01-13T22:41:00.000-05:00

What better way to celebrate the graduation of your child from High School than a soft porn photo shoot? Daddy, what do you think of my senior pictures? Daddy? Daddy? Why are you sweating Daddy?I know you are all thinking that she looks like she has a mustache. What do you mean what mustache?Technically these photographs are superb. When I take my underage son to get his senior pictures I want

I Shoot Brides

2006-01-13T22:18:00.000-05:00

By way of his tongue in cheek name, this photographer is obviously telling us that he doesn't walk the same blurry, out of focus and badly composed photography path as 95% of all wedding photographers. This portfolio is probably overflowing with creative and technically perfect photography.Or not.The nametag is a nice touch.http://www.ishootbrides.com/index.htm

Blow up the Homeless for the Holidays

2005-12-18T16:43:00.000-05:00

I came up with a super idea the other day and my best friend said I was warped.I thought I would try to defend myself here.As we were passing the 57th horrid self-inflating Christmas decoration that day, I thought of how much space, money and electricity was wasted on these monstrosities.Since they are already self-inflating what trouble would it be to put a heater inside?Tada! Handy portable