Background people.

Cute little girl. Too bad all anyone is going to remember is ASS. And tell me you didn't try to look up the other woman's skirt. Pervert.
http://www.msimaging.net/photo.html

What a mess

One of my biggest pet peeves is a cluttered background. In some situations the photographer doesn't have a choice, but with posed photographs you are in control.

How hard would it have been for the photographer to have the ring held over a table? What about blurring the background while focusing on the ring? For goodness sake, we live in the age of b3ta and Worth 1000, Photoshop the damn thing!
We don't really need to see the various cables and the radio in this shot.
http://digitalphotos.50megs.com/

Photo adjustment 101

O.K. You've taken a decent picture but the exposure is all wrong. No problem, that's why God invented Photoshop. Just a few quick adjustments and ...
perfect! Changing it to black and white really fixed the brightness problem!
Although you can't put the whole blame on the photographer. It must have been hell trying to get a balance between the white dress and the bride's fake bake.
http://www.tiberiusimages.com/christmas-card-photos.htm

I don't know what to think about this photograph.

1. The photographer didn't know it would look this way.
2. The photographer is making a statement about women and their complicated relationship with their body image.
3. Or he is just an idiot who likes to make fun of fat chicks.





Same photographer, different victims. I guess this one
wouldn't be so bad if they didn't look like they were a human
slingshot getting ready to fling the baby at the count of 3.
http://www.tiberiusimages.com/

Now I can always remember that my wedding was held in the high school gym. The hundreds of dollars I spent on decorations to try to hide the fact that my father spent all his money on whores and poker and couldn't afford a nice hall for his only daughter's wedding will be forgotten.

Unlike the tacky purple shoes my stepmother kicked off after her eighth mimosa when she started dirty dancing with Uncle Carl. The grinding, oh God the grinding!
http://www.danharrisphotoart.com/bridal.html

Goodbye Cruel Wedding

Married life is so happy! My husband works hard at the bodybuilding gym till all hours, his mother is living with us. Poor dear, she's come over from England, she keeps forgetting my name is Brenda. She calls me her little Minge, I guess that must be someone she used to feel very close too. Do all English men wear tights under their trousers? My husband says the climate he is used to makes his man parts cold, but I wouldn't know, I haven't seen them in weeks. Minge is a pet name isn't it?

The Pits

Sometimes you have a really talented photographer who doesn't think about what the picture will look like if a crucial element is left out. Like what the bride is doing for example. Is she checking to see if her Secret is working?
http://www.parkerphotographic.com/

Sitting on a Park Bench

I don't know if the photographer's camera wasn't in focus or if they were going for a special digital effect.
By special effect I mean in a sitting on a bench across the park with a telephoto lens sticking out of your raincoat secretly taking pictures of sweet pink things, oh so sweet and innocent, do you want some candy little girl, kind of way.
http://www.ishootkids.com/index.htm

Senior pictures gone wrong. Way way wrong.

What better way to celebrate the graduation of your child from High School than a soft porn photo shoot?


Daddy, what do you think of my senior pictures? Daddy? Daddy? Why are you sweating Daddy?
I know you are all thinking that she looks like she has a mustache. What do you mean what mustache?


Technically these photographs are superb. When I take my underage son to get his senior pictures I want to get value for my money. By value I mean I want to be able to sell them to homosexual fetish internet sites so I can finally get some return on my investment of videogames, food, clothes and shoes that this freeloader has been devouring for the past 16 years.
Photography from Photos by Anton http://www.photosbyanton.com/home.html

I Shoot Brides

By way of his tongue in cheek name, this photographer is obviously telling us that he doesn't walk the same blurry, out of focus and badly composed photography path as 95% of all wedding photographers. This portfolio is probably overflowing with creative and technically perfect photography.


Or not.
The nametag is a nice touch.
http://www.ishootbrides.com/index.htm